Feb
I have been at this company for going on a few months now and I just don't know how to take the woman who is training me (I'm a woman too).
At times, she is as nice and friendly as can be. Beyond nice. She bought me an expensive piece of jewelry for my birthday and took me out for lunch. She's wonderful……..until our boss is around. She cuts me down, she nags, she shines the spotlight on every little mistake I make which is quite a few considering I've never done this before and I am still somewhat new.
I'm almost to the point of quitting. Today, she came over and started going through my desk and asking me what each paper was and what needed to be done with it.
She always has some little remark for everything but is sweet as pie when it's just the two of us. What the hell!?
Answer:
On one of those "sweet" times that just the two of you are together, why not ask her.? Approach it, like, the two of your are good friends and when it is just the two of you, things seem to go well, but when the boss is around, she doesn't seem to be friendly, and seems to want to make you look bad, why is this this way? Ask if you have done anything to offend her. And your Christian friends, of which I consider myself one, will be praying for you.
We had an expression at a Government facility where I worked once, that the only way to get a "head" (ahead) was to take some Else's/ The only way to take someones head was to "cut their throat" and believe me there was a lot of that going on. You may be in a similar situation, where she wants you close to her so she knows what is going on with you. She may see you as a threat. But then she turns on you when she has the opportunity. Some people can only elevate themselves, by putting others down.
Above all, as a Christian, approach all you do, say and think about this situation, with the love of Christ and after bathing it all in prayer. Don't lower yourself to her standards to get even. Keep yours eyes on God and He will direct you.
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she is trying to get ahead and it does not matter what she does and i am thinking you do not have to take this type of treatment. i mean yes you may like your job but you don't have to put up with her. apparently you have a boss and i would let them know what shes doing. its quite abit of harrassment and it can be stopped. she just trying to make you look like **** and her like grat and she has no confidence.
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There's always going to be people you don't get along with at work. BUT, if she's going through your personal things in your desk, that is wrong. Try talking to her about it, and if she doesn't stop, well, you're going to have to take it to someone higher up.
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She's trying to belittle you in front of the boss to make her look better/smarter. You need to figure out a way to set her up. Good Luck.
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seems like she wants to act tough around her boss but thats not fair to u i think u need to talk to her about it and see whats goin on
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confront her about it, she is probably trying to show off in front of the boss to make herself look good, so just confront her about it and tell her it is making you feel really uncomfortable.
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She sounds like she's very jealous of you — and perhaps a bit bi-polar to boot!
The next time you guys are alone, just ask her what's up with her behavior. She may not realize she's doing it, or she may 'fess up that she feels you are better than her.
Jealousy is a powerful emotion!
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She is just a kiss up… Which I am sure the boss is well aware of. Just try to get through it. How long will she have to train you?? I am sure the boss has noticed what she is up to and is interested in how you handle the situation. So stay strong. You could also ask her when you two are alone whats with all the cut downs? I would just stay strong, It will show the boss that you are better then her. I am sure within time you will pass her right up.
Good Luck!
Answer:
It sounds like she is trying to kiss up to the boss for her own benefits. It probably has more to do with her improving her own image rather than anything wrong with you. If I were you I'd have a heart to heart with this woman and let her know that her advice and constructive criticism is welcome but that she doesn't need to "nag" or be rude about it.
If the problem persists I would talk with the boss about your concerns.
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There is one of her in EVERY office…..
they are call BROWN NOSERS.
Looking to shine, trying to look better then others, has job insecurities, TOTALLY untrust worthy….
I would stay away from her as much as you can and if it doesn't stop you have to call her out on it. Honestly take the bull by the horns - try to fix it before quitting. Don't let her have such a control on your life - if she doesn't stop talk to your boss. Trust me STAY away from her - I have seen many like her and they are always trouble.
Answer:
Sounds like you have an OK relationship when your boss isn't around, interesting. Have you asked her why her behavior changes?
I think that you need to confront her and give her a chance to explain. You never know, it might be something unexpected like your manager gave her feedback in her performance review that she should be more aggressive with the team…
Whatever the reason, you should tell her that you don't appreciate the treatment and see if you can agree upon fair treatment going forward.
Good luck!
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She is playing office politics.
She is nice to you when the boss is not around so that you will put your guard down.
Then she will backstab you infront of the boss.
Be on your guard, if there is a retrenchment, your boss will sack you and not her.
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This is strange! Maybe this person is acting like this to show-off for her boss, you know, to gain brownie points. She may be scrambling for a promotion (I'm not sure what kind of job you do, though) or just trying to make a good impression for important people. She may not be really like this, and therefore, when you two are alone, she shows her "real" self.
Also, maybe she melts under pressure. When your boss is around and its frantic, she may simply be looking for someone to pick on.
If this persists, I would most definitally talk to her about this. She shouldn't be going through your desk or interfering with your work day.
My mom had a job like this, and finally decided to quit after tension with her co-worker. She loves her new job even more, so if this problem persists, maybe you should think about moving to a place where your hard work will be better appreciated!
Hope this helps! This was certainly an interesting question.
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I think that the problem is that the woman at your work is quite possibly a lesbian and doesnt want anyone to know. Sometimes when you like someone you put them down to other people so that when you give them the attention they look at you like you are the nicest person around. and really who buys someone jewellery if they dont "fancy" them?
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Does she treat others that way as well? If so, the two (or more) of you should talk to her and confront her about her behavior. To prevent her from getting too defensive, concentrate on how her behavior affects you and the others. If she still doesn't change, you will have to talk with your boss about it. One thing for certain: she won't change unless you confront her.
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try not to judge hear to heavy. ask her straight out when its just you to "what are her intention" or treat her like you want to be treated
extra money, go to yuwie and type in 502738
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Hi you poor thing it sounds like shes trying to impress her boss, if you want to keep the job i think you going to have to "grin and bear it" i hate that phrase too!! is the 'training' 4 a limited time? if so just "bid your time" till its over then turn the table and start critiquing her!! but be careful
maybe she likes you in a more than workmate way?!? could you go over her head and talk to the boss? say she is making you feel uncomfortable and effecting your work, of which you take great pride of course, and this is a shame because you love the work etc crawl a bit yourself if you have too, horrible i know but do what u gotta do.
good luck
Susan
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I think sometimes people don't know how they are being perceived. It seems as though she can be a nice person, so you may want to sit down with her and just have a conversation about how she's making you feel.
Firstly, this should be a very non-confrontational conversation. You want this to be a mature conversation that will help your relationship and situation; if she feels attacked, she'll probably shut down and things will only get worse. You can start by saying something like:
"We're both adults, and I respect you as a person, and as my manager, but sometimes I feel as though the respect isn't being reciprocated. If you don't like the way I'm doing something, or think I might be making a mistake, please tell me in a constructive way. I want to do the best job possible, but it is very stressful when I feel as though you're attacking me."
If you don't feel comfortable speaking to her alone, you may want to ask someone in Human Resources to sit in and mediate.
I've worked for women like this in the past.. sometimes they are just bitches, and there is nothing you can do about it. No amount of talking or mediation will change them. In your situation though, I think she might not realize how her bad attitude effects those around her.
Good luck!
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This is harassment, plain and simple. Notify your Human Resource Mgr ASAP and report each incident. A papertrail is essential, as this co-worker is likely to deny everything.
Harassment is a prohibited form of discrimination under state and federal employment law. Specifically prohibited under these laws are:
Verbal or physical conduct that creates a hostile, intimidating, or offensive working environment or interferes with an employee's ability to perform his or her job;
Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, or other verbal or physical conduct that create a hostile, intimidating, or offensive working environment or interfere with an employee's ability to perform his or her job;
Offensive or derogatory comments made to any person, either directly or indirectly, based on race, color, sex, religion, age, disability, sexual orientation, or national origin.
Don't be a victim, if you quit this employee will just start in on your replacement.
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Sounds like a backbiter to me. She obviously thinks that by putting you down in front of others that it makes her look better by comparison go to you supervisor or boss and tell them that she is making you very uncomfortable with her harassment whats she is doing is plain wrong. Here's some things that I found on the web about harrassment
Harassment is a form of discrimination which includes a wide range of conduct and causes another person to feel offended, humiliated, intimidated, insulted or ridiculed.
Harassment is behaviour which is unwelcome, unreciprocated, uninvited and usually, but not always, repeated.
Harassment may cause damaging stereotypes to be maintained and is a breach of proper standards of conduct and professional behaviour.
Harassment is the exertion of power by one person over another person.
Harassment may be based in misunderstanding or be a deliberate act and often contains a subjective perspective.
Common forms of harassment are:
Sexual harassment;
Sex-based harassment;
Intimidatory harassment; and
Harassment on the grounds of race, disability, sexual preference or age.
If an employee is being harassed at work, the matter should be raised with the workplace harassment contact officer or the employer in an effort to resolve the issue. If this is unsuccessful, then the matter should be directed to the Workplace Standards Tasmania Helpline. If the harassment is of a nature other than related to workplace safety then the matters should be directed to:
Human Rights & Equal Opportunity Commission
Level 8 Piccadilly Tower
133 Castlereagh Street
Sydney, NSW, 2000
Phone: 1300 369 711 (General Enquiries)
Local rate: 1300 656 419 (Complaints)
Email: complaintsinfo@humanrights.gov.au
or:
Anti-Discrimination Commission
Level 1, 54 Victoria Street
GPO Box 197
Hobart, TAS, 7000
Phone: 03 6233 4841
Local rate: 1300 305 062
Fax: 03 6233 5333
Email: AntiDiscrimination@justice.tas.gov.au
What she is doing is against the law don't let her get away with it and give her the jewelery back it is a bribe
Answer:
talk to her like you talk to us. say…
this morning you…
when our supervisor came by, you said….
can you help me understand this?
Answer:
I worked with a friend like that once, and I didn't know at the time that she had Bipolar Disorder. Still it was very uncomfortable working with her.
You have a right to work in an environment that is free from harassment and abuse.
I would suggest speaking your co-worker in private first, pointing out the abusive behaviour that is making you uncomfortable. I know this sounds strange, but she may not be aware that she is doing it.
If things do not become better after your discussion, talk to your supervisor, bringing up specific examples of the behaviour. Include dates and times whenever possible and keep a separate list of any witnesses to her behaviour.
If your supervisor is unwilling to do anything, you can always take matters to your HR department or the labour board. Hopefully things won't have to go that far.
In the meantime, ask if your company has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). These services are provided by an independent company and help employees deal with stress management and other personal issues. Any information you give them is kept confidential.
Good luck. I hope things get better for you.
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